"mags, it's been six months and you've done jack shit" SILENCE. anyways. the time is once again upon us: its the Steam Summer Sale, and by god, do i need some fucking enrichment in my enclosure. physically, i am a lazy college student, spiritually, i am an equally lazy tiger who is looking at the zookeepers holding the meat pumpkin they are about to throw into my den with barely restrained hunger. but every year, the question remains: am i actually going to fucking buy any of this shit on my wishlist?
which is why i have decided to grace neocities with my presence once again: i have decided to go through my entire steam wishlist, and sort everything into the categories: no, probably not, maybe, probably, and yes.
starting off with a suprisingly complicated one! i technically already own stardew valley. it's just...when i bought it, me and my older brother zk shareed a steam account, but now i have my own steam account, and stardew valley is still on his account. i can still play it, because you can share libraries on steam, but i probably won't buy it again unless things go terribly wrong and the shared library stops working.
ranking: no
an rpgmaker horror game that was recently overhauled in hd about having a normal time with your dad. this one's a probably not; i'm just not in the mood for an rpgmaker horro game right now
ranking: probably not
i have a tendency to not actually care for farming sims that aren't stardew valley. i don't know why. by all means i shoud like them, it's just that nothing seems to invoke the same furvor in me that stardew did. they all have too much plot, and an end of the plot that i can get to. however, my time at portia does come reccomended by a friend, which moves it up from probably no to a maybe.
ranking: maybe
i have no idea what the fuck this is, or when i added it to my wishlist. the steam summary for it is "Wildermyth follows heroes over their whole careers, from their pitchfork days to their powerful primes, and on into old age and memory. It’s a party-based procedural storytelling RPG where tactical combat and story decisions will alter your world and reshape your cast of characters." i get the feeling i wishlisted this one because it's an rpg. but again, no memory of it. it seems nice, but like...do i really want to spend 25 dollars on a game i don't remember being interested in?
ranking: ?? who ARE you
this one is an award winning game about language puzzles. puzzles aren't really my thing; i'm dumb as bricks generally. however this DOES seem nice so it's a solid maybe. if there's a really good deal.
ranking: maybe
see i would like to play more tactical rpgs, however, i also don't want to think about high school in any capacity unless i have to
ranking: i don't remember what the quadratic formula is
dlc for a game i last played in freshman year of high school?
ranking: i don't remember fractions either
i do NOT have the emotional stability for this right now
ranking: nooooooooo
condemned for multiplayer sins
ranking: anybody else just not know when they're supposed to leave in multiplayer games? i just dip the moment i feel even a little tired
i am infamously bad at musical games. i survive the rhythm sections of twst by sheer dumb luck alone. i don't think this one is a good fit for me.
ranking: no
farming sim in caveman times...see i do think the lil caveman guy they got on the banner is really cute. he's definitely swaying my judgement a little. maybe i'll check out what the rest of the characters look like online before i decide.
ranking: it's a maybe
this seems like it would be a great game to zone out and listen to video essays to. that's an essential part of my routine so it would get a lot of use
ranking: do you think i could write this off as a mental health expense?
to be honest, i feel like i already know everything about this game. i don't really know why it's on my wishlist. is the twist still good if i already know about it? that song by the stupendium slaps though
ranking: nah, probably not
this time i'm mooching this game off of my OTHER sibling, summer! however, i reccomended it to them and they liked it, so i feel less bad about mooching.
ranking: nah
another game that is trapped in zk's library. however, no because i am never going to finish this one i'm sorry. i feel bad but i can never get into it enough.
ranking: i'm so sorry
this does look super cute, and i would love to play some games about magical students. the colors are super nice too...it's a maybe
ranking: environmence...
i DO want my boss to be a frog. i DO want to make new friends, catch fish, snag bugs, and more. i DO want to travel across scenic islands.
ranking: and i will do all of that if there's a good sale
i cannot do post apoc rn i'm going through some shit that makes me scream and cry and shit my pants if i have to think about any impending apocalypses for more than five seconds
ranking: this is also why i didn't watch tlou. or play tlou.
this game looks SO CUTE. but it IS published by chucklefish and i don't think i want to support them...wasn't there allegations of workplace abuse?
ranking: wish it just wasn't published by them because this looks so cute...
on account of Unnamed Life Circumstances: no
ranking: what are those circumstances? what are you, a cop? (i'm fine, dw)
apparently this is similar to hades AND moonlighter, which means it's going to fuck up my hand beyond recognition
ranking: i should find my wrist brace again if i'm going to keep this up
veggi e tales :)
ranking: maybe
nah i'm playing zk's copy
ranking: EL EM AY OH
i think i wishlisted this one on the name alone, because i have no idea what it's about. i assume it's about a turnip boy committing tax evasion, which is a really interesting premise.
ranking: but you can never outwit the irs, unfortunately. that's how they got al capone
fond memories of playing the demo for this in a haze of depression in a motel. however it was really fun from the demo, and these graphics are really cute, so...
ranking: maybe?
simply not feeling a sandbox multiplayer rn tbh
ranking: my apolocheese
mmm...feesh :)
ranking: probably!
unfortunately ive gotten into some sports anime recently, so maybe!
ranking: i hate it when a sports anime only has one season and then they don't win. "it's about the friends you make along the way" no i want my fucking gold
when i was a little kid, i wanted to be a girl scout. i now recognize that i would have hated being a girl scout, and really i just wanted to be like the popular girls in my class. however maybe i CAN fulfill my seven year old dreams, and also my right now dreams, by telling ghosts to chill the fuck out.
ranking: maybe
yeah, sure, but i don't want to have to organize pico park nights for all my friends. it's a logistical nightmare and then on the day of i'm so tired and sleepy
ranking: girl i need to SLEEP
another one that i don't remember why i wishlisted..i don't think i've ever had much interest in sam and max?
ranking: latent columboisms effecting me again
i watched RTgame play this, and it looked so genuinely fun and nice that now i do really want to play it. i'm hoping for a nice discount for this, but it had a sale recently so i'm not keeping my hopes up.
ranking: please
"mags can't you just emulate this" i could, yeah, but i have a rule to keep myself from feeling guilty that if i can buy a game legally, i do, and if it's out of print or the console is really old, i try emulation. which is legal, by the way, emulators are legal. you should emulate as much as possible. stick it to the man
ranking: it's only seven dollars anyways
there was a sale going on for this that ended as i was writing this post. FUCK
ranking: now i'm too embarassed cause it was only two dollars i should have gotten it
crumb cuptoast fucking GOT me i do want to know what's up with this guy ethan and his weird ass kid
ranking: maybe
the concept for this is so sick i do want to know what just typing in a bunch of numbers will generate
ranking: maybe
yes, actually. i'm not usually a guy for pokemon-likes. i usually look at them and immediately dislike the creature designs and want to play pokemon but, i want to play this with my friends! so yes
ranking: yes
another game that i am mooching off of zk.
ranking: no
i wishlisted this in the middle of my hyperfixation on cults but, uh...that hyperfixation is over now, so...
ranking: probably not, sorry
i love it when games are about the internet. im actually super interested in this
ranking: PLEASE be on sale this year
i actually...don't know what this game is about. i know everyone liked it, and there are cards involved, and there's a robot and a guy named leshy, but other than that i have no fucking idea. so i guess i might find out!
ranking: maybe!
not a video game, but unless it goes down to twenty dollars or less i'm not buying it. seventy dollars is highway robbery and yall know it.
ranking: probably not
see, this game IS really cute. i WOULD love to be a bear just brutally fucking up home repair in the middle of the would. however a fair bit of it is interior design and i am...shamefully bad at interior design. my animal crossing island is in shambles. my idea of decorating is just to put tables at the edges of rooms. i don't know how yall do it.
ranking: probably not, sorry
this isn't out yet, so no!
ranking: i love u tho melinoe
it's a game about high school, however, it's getting the pass as i do love me a good time loop
ranking: i didn't get this last year and i regretted it for a whole year
a game i remember watching my older brother play. however, am i really willing to tolerate old game design for the sake of nostalgia?
ranking: maybe so
i do NOT have the mental energy for precision platformers
ranking: when i was regularly going to the park i would look over at the skate park right next to it and see the guys on their bikes and wonder if i could do that...and then i would look at my old ass bright pink sparkly bike with a basket and think hm. probably not
do you know how much this appeals to be. it's a jrpg. it has pixel graphics. it's turn based. it's got fantasy and mechs.
ranking: BLEASE
seems cute, but maybe not right now
ranking: when i have the energy
the art for this is so cute...i do love mystery cursed books...this seems very hildaesqe, which is a show i love.
ranking: if i can fit it into the budget maybe?
i love the idea of just throwing a bunch of alternate universe 90s kids onto an island so much. this is a yes
ranking: my local public library when i was growing up didn't have like, the most modern books, which is how i ended up reading a lot of stuff from 2000s and earlier and just completely missing that they weren't set in modern day
this seems more like the kind of game that i would watch a streamer play, think "huh, that looks nice" and then forget about it immediately. unfortunate, because i do love cats
ranking: nah
this is a certified jacob geller reccomendation, so i'm really hoping that it goes on sale
ranking: id trust jacob geller with my life
this game isn't out yet, and it also doesn't have a price, so!
ranking: no
i would die and kill for a good plate of rice, so...this one is a solid maybe. if i can get a good discount.
ranking: my favorite kind of rice is pulao and biriyani
wbwbwbwbwbwbwbwbwbbwbwbwbwbwbwbbw
ranking: maybe
i'm doing my tactical rpg homework! but i will gladly fail this class if it doesn't go for ninety percent off because god ALMIGHTY this is fifty dollars
ranking: DO YOU SERIOUSLY NEED THIS MUCH FOR A RERELEASE OF A DECADES OLD GAME
she's Just Like Me FR. but am i really in the headspace to play a psychological horror rn?
ranking: probably not
maybe what i need to get out of this funk is a shot of anime bullshit straight to the veins
ranking: i want to be the fastest hedgehog
ive heard really good things about this one from my friends! and i do love the sea!
ranking: can't wait to get destroyed by the horrors
these puppets SCARE me
ranking: speaking of puppets, i was into welcome home before it blew up, and i gotta say, it's super weird seeing everyone be into now. where the fuck did yall come from? i know its the night mind video and tiktok, but dear god
the really sad thing is that i...can't really play as many roguelikes as i would like to anymore. the carpal tunnel fucked up my hand too much. regardless, i am really excited for this game to get out of early access, and i will play it as much as i am safely able to when it does
ranking: someday
am i truly worthy of being a lil gator?
ranking: is anyone?
i have genuinely no fucking idea what this game is, when i wishlisted it, or why i wishlisted it. i just started getting emails about it one day and i've been too confused to take it off since.
ranking: huh????
this is early access, so not, but i am interested in checking it out when it does come out
ranking: i feel like this is one of those games where it's been coming out soon for forever...actually, i might be getting it mixed up with witchbrook
i hold a deep respect for the noble profession of postman, and this DOES look really cute. i'm not a huge platformer fan, but maybe my love of minecraft parkour maps will carry over here?
ranking: maybe!
sweeney todd simulator does look interesting, alas, i'm just not in the mood for anything grimdark right now
ranking: maybe later
i don't care how much you make this motherfucker look like timothee chalamet, i am not spending sixty dollars on a game that won't come out until september
ranking: no.
i'm not too partial on roadtrips in real life, and the monster prom games tend to be ones that i play for a little bit and then completely forget about...
ranking: maybe not
i have no idea what this genre of game is. i just wishlisted bc the art looked really nice.
ranking: princess! kill!
deltarune...is free, so...no.
ranking: no
this does have the very funny price tag of 20.04. would love to play it someday!
ranking: maybe if it goes on sale, but if not then, then someday!
relevant to my irl wish to have a polaroid camera
ranking: snap...that's going in my spooky ghost compilation
no idea what this game is about! looks neat though
ranking: maybe
this game isn't out yet!
ranking: no but i look forward to staring longingly at it
listen, i know this game is allegedly the dark souls of card games, however...the art style IS really cute...and i DID like watching RTgame play it....
ranking: probably
what is this game about? fuck if i know? i just know it looks sick and is insane. im really hoping there's a good sale, because i would like to know what this thing's deal is. also that kid's name is chai so i'm claiming him as desi. no take backs. my boy's just pale.
ranking: probably
again, no idea when or why i wishlisted this. it seems nice, but i still don't buy games in early access
ranking: best of luck though!
the animations for this game look sick as fuck, so i'm hoping it goes on sale so i can get a closer look at them!
ranking: PLEASE BE ON SALE
no, on account of i have shamefully not finished river city girls 1, despite liking it a lot
ranking: no...
why is this on my wishlist. i hate resturant games.
this one also isn't out yet but it's an rpg and it has pirates which i like
ranking: yarr harr fiddle dee dee :)
looks shamefully at moonlighter (unfinished). looks directly at the camera
ranking: I'M SORRYYYYYYYY
alas i'm still dumb as bricks and getting dumber by the second. can't do a puzzle game right now
ranking: is it really relaxing if i'm stressing about puzzles
this isn't out yet, however i love the graphics sm. best of luck little guy
ranking: im so tired rn it's three am i just thought i saw someone else typing at the end of this document
this looks really nice and sweet! i love a rpg and i love a fantasy and i love a sunset colors
ranking: maybe!
"mags don't you hate the arcana with a fucking passion" YES. however, this isn't actually made by the arcana's studio, and i have some hope for it. there's at least three people of color in the main cast, and while one of them is an animal, i'm willing to see where this one goes. but also, it's not going to be out for the next two years, so the answer is no
ranking: no